DARK GRAY Materia

L: Dammit, this materia isn't actually black! It's just really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really dark gray! That's why it isn't working! (Throws Dark Gray materia at wall)
(materia explodes when it hits the wall, creating a hole big enough for our heroes to escape through)
L: Yippee! We're free! Since there was only one guard and he's dead now, we can escape ! I'm gonna stop using exclamation points now! I'm even starting to annoy myself!

Stupid Black Materia!

M: *has been hit by many, many pebbles* Owww. -0-
I dunno.. But if it WERE working, wouldn't we, oh, I don't know.. Die? O_o; .. Naw, course not. *shakes off the thought*
Hum. Whatever happened to Sephiroth? We could try asking him how to use it.. But something tells me that's a slightly bad idea.
G: *has drowned in the pebble-swarm* x_x

JAILBREAK...from a mental hospital...

L: I'm getting bored of being in here...(somehow gets out of straight jacket) (uses alchemy to turn the straight jacket and the Advent Children DVD into a Black Materia) (cuts through Michelle's restraints with a random pocket knife)
L: HA! Now we can get outta here! (casts Meteor on the mental hospital) (a tiny pebble falls from the sky and hits Luke in the eye) OW! (continues to cast Meteor until the entire building begins to fill up with tiny pebbles) (and his eye hurts a lot)DAMMIT, WHY ISN'T THE BLACK MATERIA WORKING?!?! WTF DUDE!

Spaked by a DVD..

Michelle: Dude! You just don't hit people with one of those, and then deny them the chance to-
Guard: *smacks Michelle as well*
M: *stumbles away from guard* >> Whatever! But we're not all crazy anymore.. Let us out.
G: Pssh. -.- You're crazy, so how do I know what you're saying isn't just.. Crazy-talk?
M: I hope you get fired..

Chapter One...ish

Our heroes are wandering aimlessly through the mental hospital...
Luke: You can let us out now! I swear we're not crazy anymore! We'll wait for KH2! (well...maybe...or not...)
Michelle: Um...Yes...we are no longer insane!
L: Please let us out!
Guard: (smacks Luke in the face with a Japanese copy of the Advent Children DVD)
L:oww...can we at least watch the DVD?
(is smacked again)